In honor of my upcoming wedding, today, I’m sharing four truths every bride-to-be should remember when planning her wedding. Mainly I wrote them as reminders to myself, but I hope you can get something out of them too.
#1: THE COVENANT IS PRIMARY.
Flowers are pretty, but they die within a week. Wedding dresses are gorgeous, but you get to wear it once and then never again. Food is delicious at the time, but in all honesty, I only have a vague recollection of what was served at the last four weddings I attended. It’s the covenant that matters. On your wedding day, you enter into a covenant with your love before God and the people most important to you. On that day, you promise to make sacrifices for the sake of your relationship and to choose to love your spouse even when they’re less than lovable.
The covenant is primary because that’s what’s left when the baby’s crying and dinner’s burnt…when they’re late for the third time that week and you’re at the end of your rope…when they’re sick and you think to yourself that this isn’t what you signed up for. Those promises and God’s grace are the things that will keep you together when life is about to tear you apart.
When you start to plan your wedding, remember that the details are cute and fun (and not to be neglected), but the covenant is primary. Spend more time writing and praying over your vows than you do agonizing over your centerpieces.
#2: GOD IS NOT ANTI-CELEBRATION.
God is not opposed to celebrations, especially wedding celebrations. The Bible opens with a wedding (Genesis 2:18-25) and closes with another one – the feast of the Lamb and His bride (Revelation 19:6-9). Earthly weddings are meant to be a picture of that ultimate wedding feast that will one day take place. That means that there’s nothing wrong with a little partying on your wedding day. In John 2, Jesus, along with many other guests, attended the wedding at Cana where there was surely jubilant music, exuberant dancing, and much wine…over 150 gallons, if we’re being specific (John 2:6-11).
This is something my fiancé and I had to remember when we first started the wedding planning process. At first, my fiancé didn’t think we should have a DJ, and for a good long while, we were both opposed to serving alcohol at our reception. After much prayer, we decided that neither of those convictions was grounded in Scripture. Music makes for a fun atmosphere and dancing is joyous, and while drunkenness is clearly condemned as sin, tasteful amounts of alcohol are often referenced favorably in the Bible.
When planning your wedding, please remember that it is not outside the bounds of Christian propriety to have a celebratory wedding reception. After all, any party you could throw will pale in comparison to the lavish banquet that Christ will one day enjoy with His bride.
#3: YOUR WEDDING IS PART OF YOUR WITNESS.
That being said, your wedding is part of your witness, and on your wedding day, you will have a uniquely captive audience. Be sure to take advantage of that for the glory of God. My fiancé and I have decided to have a DJ and serve alcohol at our reception, but we’re asking our DJ to only play tasteful songs and we’ve decided against hosting an open bar all night and are instead having our bartenders serve beer, wine, and two signature cocktails during cocktail hour. Additionally, we’ve asked our officiant to give a sermonette on Ephesians 5:22-33 during our ceremony. There will be hymns before our vows and a prayer before dinner too.
It may be our day, but we’re God’s people, and we want our wedding to reflect that clearly.
#4: YOUR WEDDING DAY IS THE START, NOT THE FINALE.
Too many Christian brides envision their wedding day as the grand finale…the end of their season of engagement, the end of their living apart from their fiancé, the end of the singleness…you get the picture. While it may be all of those things, it is much more accurately the start of your lives together…the beginning of your one-flesh union.
When poring over bridal magazines and wedding boards on Pinterest, remember that. Your wedding day is not meant to be your grand finale, but the beginning of your life as a couple. I know it may not seem like it when you’re in the throes of wedding planning, but it really is okay if everything’s not perfect on that day.
After all, wouldn’t you rather your wedding day be nice and your marriage be extraordinary? That sounds better than the reverse to me.
I’D LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU
To my married readers, what wedding planning advice do you have? Share in the comments section below!
To my single readers, head down to the comments section and let me know what your favorite aspects of weddings are!