My first ever first date was with my now fiancé, but even though I’ve only been on one first date, I’ve talked to a lot of people about their experiences and done a lot of reading about the subject (the good, the bad, and the ugly) so I think I have some good advice to offer you. Today, I’m going to be sharing some do’s and don’ts of a good first date.
#1) Do dress well. Of course, appearance is not the most important thing about a person, but it does matter, and it’s bound to be something that your date notices when you two go out. That being said, dress well for your first date (and for every date after that too). Your outfit should showcase your personality while still fitting the venue of where you’re going. If you and your date are going rock climbing, don’t wear a sundress. A pair of jeans and a fun top will do the trick. If you’re going to be walking around, cute but practical shoes are also a must. Put a little extra effort into your first date outfit. You’ll be glad you did, especially if you two end up taking a picture.
#2) Do ask questions. Your first date is your chance to get to know someone, so ask questions! Be careful not to pry about extra touchy subjects, but do inquire about your date’s hobbies, interests, and favorite things.
To this day, my fiancé and I love making up lists of questions and asking each other them during extended car drives or amusement park lines. They’re great conversation starters, and there’s always more that you can learn about someone. Below, I’ve included a list of questions separated by category to inspire you.
- How many siblings do you have?
- Where do you go to church?
- What’s your favorite food?
- What’s your favorite dessert?
- What’s your best friend like?
- What do you do for a living?
- What’s your favorite book?
- What’s your favorite TV show?
- What’s your favorite song?
- Are you more of an early bird or a night owl?
- If you were to plan the best weekend getaway ever, what would it consist of?
- How many countries have you visited?
- Would you prefer staying in a mountain cabin or a beachfront cottage?
- What’s the most outgoing thing you’ve ever done?
- Would you rather live in perpetual winter or perpetual summer?
- If you could live in any other country for a year, what country would you choose?
- What makes you feel young?
- Would you rather be a deep-sea diver or an astronaut?
- Have you ever been on a mission’s trip?
- What’s something you’ve always dreamed of doing?
RANDOM & FUN
- If you could hire out one household chore, what would it be?
- If you could instantly know how to play one instrument well, what would it be?
- What animal would be the cutest scaled down to the size of a kitten?
- What three things would you need to survive on a deserted island?
- What happened in the most recent dream you had?
- What’s something you think should be taught in schools but isn’t?
- If you were building a utopia and got to choose one virtue for everyone in your society to have, what virtue would you choose?
- What’s the worst class you’ve ever taken?
- What color are most of the clothes in your closet?
- What’s a talent of yours that not many people know about?
A LITTLE DEEPER
- What is something that overwhelms you every time you think about it?
- Would you rather leave behind a legacy of success or kindness?
- What does your devotional routine look like?
- What are you afraid of?
- If you could have coffee with any person living or dead, who would it be?
- What are you most proud of yourself for?
- What do you consider your biggest life goal?
- If you got to relive the best day of your life over and over again, what day would you choose?
- What are you most grateful to your parents for?
- What’s the best piece of advice you’ve ever received?
That is by no means a comprehensive list, but it’ll get you started. (Note: Those questions are meant to be asked over the course of time. Whatever you do, please don’t ask all 40 of them on a first date.)
#3) Do have fun. Dates are supposed to be fun. Talk. Smile. Laugh. Enjoy it. Don’t be so concerned with maintaining an image that you forget to have a good time. In fact, don’t try to “maintain an image” at all. Your date asked you out, so be you. And besides, all facades eventually crumble. Just be yourself, and have fun!
#1) Don’t complain. Not about the weather, not about the food, not about your job or your family or your finances. And certainly not about your ex. Nobody likes a complainer, so just don’t.
#2) Don’t share too much. I know that in #2 of the “Do…” section, I told you to ask questions. I’d encourage you to thoughtfully answer the questions your date asks you as well. But do so prudently. When talking with your date, use good judgment. You two are just getting acquainted and he doesn’t need to know every detail (especially the not-so-pretty ones) of your life just yet. Be open and honest, but use discernment when deciding just how much to say.
#3) Don’t get physically involved. A first date is a time to get to know someone’s personality, not their body. I’m not at all saying that you shouldn’t hold hands until you’re engaged or that you shouldn’t kiss until you’re married; those are decisions that couples need to make for themselves (I personally don’t believe in either of those things, but I know of couples who chose to go that route and found it helpful in honoring God with their relationship). However, I would encourage you to save any physical display of affection for beyond the first date. Focus on getting to know their heart instead of their body. After all, getting to know someone’s heart is what dating is for.
FROM HIS PERSPECTIVE
I asked my fiancé to share the tips that he would give for a successful first date, and here’s a summary of what he said.
Do…talk about yourself (but not too much!), and go somewhere with things to look at and/or do (i.e. an art gallery or an open-air market or an outdoor mall).
Don’t…go somewhere the two of you can’t talk (such as the movie theater).
So there you have it – my first date tips! I hope you find them helpful!